The last stand. Or is it? Can there be such a event where there is a "last" stand?

Old memories and new experiences shape our own personal world. Its funny how old memories never go away but at the same time feel far away. Our present time seem to be at odds at itself. Time spent with joy, we fear to end to quickly. The future is always thought upon and the present filled with stress and the past never forgotten. Time seems to get colder and colder with each new law, and the continuing of perverseness getting more bold in our society. Enough to make me almost sick to my stomach and the ever present thought of blandness of life. The routine that seems unbreakable. This is here and now. The days of the past are with us. The future is what we make. The present is what seems to be an ongoing struggle. Don't let life trample the life out of us!!!

I have noticed that I have broken three what seemed impregnable barriers. First, I have always loved music but thought it would almost near impossible to make it. Second, I used to be only to run from one telephone pole to another and when I arrived there I would be breathing insanely hard, now I am able to run 7.8 miles in a continuous non-stop 1hr. and about 23 min. Third, I've loved airplanes ever since I first saw one, and now I'm going to aviation school and actually flew 5 times already and landed 2 times with the help of the instructor, I never thought that I would talk with the Tower.

Don't give hope up. We haven't even began our life journey. There is no ending of this life. Don't give up. Serve God, love the brethren, and serve the king.

I don't know how to explain this. I arrived in Bethel extremely depressed. Now I don't know what to make of it. Recently I've been studying every day except on Sundays, aviation. With this new job (which has been awesome) I have felt that my goal that I made was shattered. My goal is shattered. I'm not going to say "well, this is life." I have hope. I'm not going to let Life trample me down. I feel that there's more. There's more than just "bland" life. I feel that there can be such a determination that breaks these "barriers" to happiness and contentment. These "barriers" that seem to constrain our thoughts, our dreams, and our aspirations. These "barriers" that makes joy seem to fade in a way. There's something that holds us. That makes people act. Their behavior. Evolution doesn't sufficiently answer my questions. And yet, its soooo hard to know. To know what to believe in. To know what is right and wrong. What are the definite right and wrong? How do I know if one "certain" action is right or wrong. These nit picky actions. Do we know who God is? I read the Bible and it comes out differently every time I read it. And these ongoing emotions that conflict what every thing I used to believe in and the emotions that conflict with my present beliefs.

This past year has been a year of drastic changes. Lol, its been my best year though. I enjoyed every moment of it and I look towards the future with same feelings. I've greatly enjoyed the hikes with me brothers. I've enjoyed our camping trips. I have enjoyed sleeping outside only in a sleeping bag, lol. Its Awesome!!! I am looking forward to the future. I'm not saying "goodbye" to the past but am excited what is happening and what is going to happen. I feel constrained in Bethel but I know I'll be back. Matthew has been such an AWESOME brother, he has and still helping me stand my ground. Isaiah and Micah are TWO brothers that also been such AWESOME brothers, giving me hope, giving me care. All three of my brothers show such devotion and love that it is overwhelming and I hope that I can do the same.

Thank you! Thank you men, who died on the battlefields. Making and preserving the greatest nation yet. I can't thank you enough. The ongoing nights and days. Hearing bombs go off. Seeing your fellow soldiers die. I want to thank you. I can not thank you enough.

Nathan Peter